Happy Birthday Dad!

Won't someone please buy my house? I'm dying slowly, painfully of sheer boredom at work, it's time for a new and completely different challenge. Before I go totally insane.

It was funny, my reaction to my weekend. It was the first weekend in a long time I had no plans for Saturday/Sunday. The weather was supposed to be shite, my flatmate was going away for Saturday night, and my love was heading off on a fishing trip. I was so looking forward to some time in the house on my own. Looking forward to it, that is, until I got it! All of a sudden I felt kind of empty, and restless. And lonely! That's a strange and new emotion for me. Seems I have become accustomed to always having someone else in the house. Even though my flatmate is a quiet, private person, we get on very well, and I enjoy chatting to him in the evenings when we get home from work. It's going to be strange when he leaves in June.

And of course, I miss my McSteamy more than words can describe. How I hate being so far away from you.

The Crusaders slogged it out in cold, miserable conditions to beat the Sharks 18-10 on Friday night. Yours truly was in the stand, luckily on the right side of the stadium to stay reasonably dry, but it was bitterly cold, and I've never seen hail like it! At least the boys made it worth our while, though they had me worried for much of the game. It was straight home to a nice warm bed!

Stayed in bed late Saturday morning and the rest of the day relaxing on the couch. Felt a bit empty when my cowboy left to go fishing (I miss you McSteamy!), but then Paul and Hana dropped Diesel off to stay, and chaos ensued. He's with us for 6 months while they are in Australia. He and Jack luckily get along like brothers, and after things calmed down, they slept like angels in the lounge while I watched dvd's. Photographic evidence:

Diesel's the one lying on the floor like a dog, Jack's the one with slightly less decorum, as usual.

1st May tomorrow! I love May, NZ Music Month rocks! Have to get to work extra early to finish all my end of month reports in record time, so I can spend the rest of the day researching local gigs to go to. Love the new website design too!

Everyone needs to get online and vote for where Little Town, Big Gig with Opshop should take place. Hmmm, does Rotherham have a town hall? With the obvious exception of Shihad, there's no-one I'd rather see play the official closing of NZ Music Month. Some would disagree with me, but they can all go and shut up! (yeah, you know who you are...)

Certain distractions have kept me so busy lately I have neglected to keep up with reading my friend's blogs, so I have missed all the dramas and nearly missed the main event! Congratulations Candi & Brian! And welcome to the world little Jack. What trials you have put your mum through! I'm relieved you are all well and happy, and my thoughts are with you.

Also good to see Niki posting semi-regularly again. Plenty of dramas in Karratha too, it seems! I sure don't miss those cyclones.

My friend Jo has this poster on her toilet door. Can't believe I found it on my first attempt on Google! I love it, it sums up exactly how I want to live my life. Some of them I have done, some I do regularly, some I have yet to do but want to.

Spent a fun few hours at Orana Park with the family today. Braedan's favourite animal is apparently "MONKEYS!" Just as well really since his Uncle Chris is all about monkeying around. Photos on MySpace as usual.

Crusaders had a hard fought win against the Blues last night, it was a sell out crowd, so although the old Smiths City stand is still missing, the atmosphere was back to almost full strength. I'm fairly certain we were the noisiest supporters in our part of the stadium, those Online guys are mad. But great fun!

Have a good ANZAC Day everyone! Tonight the Crusaders take on the Blues at AMI Stadium, and I'll be there cheering them on, with the Online crew. I'm being picked up at 2.30pm for drinks beforehand - I can feel a big night coming on. Chris and Kallie are also in town for the long weekend, had dinner with them and the family last night, always good to see them. They are applying to Teacher's College here, so hopefully we will be seeing a lot more of them both soon! It will be great to have my little brother here again. I've missed you guys!

Sing it with me! They rock! I stopped in at Tony's Tyre Service at lunchtime to see if they could fix the slow leak in my rear tyre. Not only could they fix it, but they also cleaned my windows, rebalanced and blackened the tyres, gave me a free chamois, a $10 gift voucher and some good advice. All for nothing, and a free coffee. Having worked in customer service most of my life, I have to say, they were outstanding and totally lived up to their ads. Sadly, as I suspected, they told me I would need to replace my rear tyres within a month or so - but they've definitely won my business!

It's been a week of fix ups. As I mentioned, I spent Sunday out in the garden, preparing the house for the market. I mowed, weeded, dead-headed, pruned, nearly took off the top of my finger with the secateurs, swept up the mess, and took it all to the dump. Yesterday Dad fixed the leaky toilet for me, and now all I have left to do is fix the hole in the side of the house and weed the dead zone behind the house.

Last night I resigned my position as Secretary for Hornby Volleyball Club, and it's like a weight has been lifted. I have one more set of minutes to type up and send out, then it's all out of my hands, and my nights are free again. No more Thursday winter nights sitting on the door at Pioneer freezing my ass off, no more running around after people who never pay on time, no more entering teams at the last minute because other people can't organise themselves! What a relief.

Now if I could just fix myself! I have an incredibly stiff, sore neck. This happens to me every winter. No, not because I'm getting old! Because whenever the weather starts to get colder, I end up in bed with three animals snuggled in as close as they can get, sometimes even on top of me, and consequently I end up in some awkward positions unable to move all night. Such as happened last night obviously, as today I can't turn my head to either side! I'm going to have to ban them!

This is the first weekend I've spent at home in a while. We attended Paul and Hana's wedding at Mt Cheeseman a couple of weekends ago and had an awesome time, then I spent last weekend relaxing out in the country. This weekend I've had a friend visiting from Auckland, we went to the Crusaders vs Lions at AMI Stadium and cheered on the boys to a good win, albeit after a terrible first half! I've been out in the stunning autumn sunshine today cleaning up the garden after weeks of neglect, and happy to report it's back to an immaculate condition.

So I've been busy. I've told myself I haven't blogged in a while because of a lack of time, but that's not strictly true. The truth is I'm at kind of a loss for words. Words don't seem to do justice to the strength of my emotions at the moment. The past few weekends have been amongst the best of my life and I don't want them ever to end.

I'm so excited about my future, but at the same time apprehensive. Never before has there been such potential for serious hurt. I don't know if I could bounce back if this ended, the way I've always done in the past, because this time I've totally invested my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, feeling the way I do right now. In a true partnership, where we will always show love and respect for each other. Can we make it happen? I know I'm up for it...

So....Easter weekend. I don't really know where to begin, words don't seem enough to describe the magic, and since I stupidly forgot to take my camera, pictures won't be doing it justice either ;)

Lake Sumner is an amazing place, stunning scenery and fresh air, and we had the most perfect camping spot I've ever seen, right by the lake. We were graced with plenty of sunshine over the long weekend, perfect for relaxing in the sun with a good book, and cool evenings to sit by the fire.

But as good as the location was, nothing compares to the company I had. And this is where words start to fail me again. Maybe I should start by describing the perfect man for me:

He'll be tall and gorgeous.
He'll love rugby and rock music.
He'll love animals, particularly my dog.
He'll love camping and outdoor activities in general.
He'll have a wicked sense of humour, and be able to put up with mine.
He'll be passionate about the things he cares about, including me :)
He'll smell divine....
He'll want the same things out of life as me.
He'll understand my need for space and time to myself sometimes and not take it to heart.
He'll make my knees weak when he looks at me and my whole body tremble when he touches me.
My heart will actually ache with longing when he's not around.

Sum all these things up to make my soulmate. The one I never thought I'd find in this lifetime. Then put a tick next to everything on that list, and congratulate me, because I found him! Magic exists!

I want this feeling to last for the rest of my life. Have I already said that? It's worth repeating.

L O V E. And you thought it would never happen? The happily single girl, "Miss Independent", who never needed anybody? How hard she has fallen.

I never settled for anything in my life. I've been in relationships long term, I've lived with people, I've cared for them. But I never knew anything like this. Total compatibility. I never settled because deep down, I knew this existed, and I was waiting for it to find me. I knew my soulmate was out there, but I never dreamed I would find him.

People say, "when it's right, you know it's right." How right they are! Am I crazy to feel like this after such a short time? Maybe, but I don't think so. It's just right. I get that now. I'm not going to argue with it.

I want this for the rest of my life. You are amazing to me. I love you. Be mine forever?

Out 21st April, can't wait to get my hands on it!

So last weekend Matt and Jack and I drove down to Washdyke after work on Friday. We drove straight to Matt's brother's house, where his girlfriend had cooked us dinner. Jack made a new girlfriend, Meisha, who spent the entire weekend trying to hump him (something's a little mixed up there).

After dinner we headed down to the river, and put up my tent in the dark. As you will probably be able to tell from the photos! The stony ground made it slightly difficult as well, I don't think I have one unbent tent peg left :)

The airbed was comfy, and Jack and I slept well, waking up early to the sounds of the river and birds singing. Crawling to the tent door, we could see the sun coming up, so got up to take a few pics, and an early morning swim for Jack. By mid-morning the sun was up in full force and it got hot enough to swim. We found a better camping spot and moved the campsite. It had trees for shade and shelter, a ready made fire, and even some bricks someone had left behind which were perfect for building our BBQ. Plus a nice little track down to the river, in which we stashed the beer - and here's a handy tip, put them in a washing basket in the river to keep cold, no camping fridge necessary!

Matt's brother and girlfriend and the baby set up camp next to us. We drank a lot of beer, sat in the sun a lot, and swam, until it was dark and time to light the fire and cook dinner on the barbie. It was a spectacular feed, although I have to say, the cooked breakfast the next morning was even better!

Jack's girlfriend stayed the night in our tent, so things were quite cosy, but again we slept well (must have been all the fresh air). When I got up it was a stunning morning, so I took the dogs for a walk along the river while everyone else slept in (I can't believe I was the only person smart enough to bring V for the hangover!).... then went for a quick refreshing dip in the river myself. After breakfast, the weather changed dramatically and suddenly to southerly and threatened to blow us all away, so we packed up in record time and went back to the house for a couple of hours before driving home.

I can't wait for next summer!

I'm deadly tired, but Jack and I are off to relax and unwind next to a river somewhere near Timaru, on our camping trip with Matt. Getting away from the city and my noisy neighbours is just what I need right now. Going to pitch the tent, and drink lots of beer, and not think about work all weekend. Joy.

Because he saw what my living room really needed was a big bright splash of colour on the wall, Matt gave me this awesome piece of art to hang there. Matt, you rock.

The forecast for this weekend is rain, rain, nothing but rain, all over the country. The farmers are rejoicing, but when am I going to find another free weekend to pull out all the weeds in my garden? Hmmmm? Still it's given me the opportunity I've been waiting for to update the website, particularly the Super 14 draw page - only 3 weeks after the start of the season, and to remove all the old missing links on the other pages.

I've had nothing but late nights and early morning for the last few weeks, and I could really use a rest, so maybe the rain is a blessing in disguise. I'm exhausted and feeling a little dizzy, I feel as if I could easily sleep the rest of the weekend away. So go on, bloody rain then!

Either the dizziness is sleep-deprived related, or I'm having serious rugby withdrawals. I had a 9am appointment at a computer course this morning, so had to miss the 7.30am Crusaders game against the Stormers, but happily my missing the game didn't cause us to lose - we racked up 22 points instead, and held the Stormers scoreless. Brilliant.

The second rose bloom of summer. My family. Fudge. The clear blue sky and crisp feeling of a summer (slowly moving towards autumn) morning of a day promising sunshine. The shiny soft black ears of J-Dogg. My awesome friends. Blue agapanthas. Laughing til I cry. The trees outside my office window. Day trips. Talking to random strangers. Cooling breezes. Volleyball people. Quiet time to myself. Mowing the lawn. The new Shihad video - One Will Hear The Other. The loop of music from the new Shihad album Beautiful Machine that plays on their website. New tattoos.

I love so much today!

I think I have the best flatmates in the world! R won tickets on the radio to see Atlas at Granite Bar Friday night, and knowing how much of a fan I am, took me with her. Flying Solo opened, a trio of young guys, who were actually pretty good, with some catchy tunes. But as usual, Atlas stole the show, with songs from Reasons for Voyaging, and a couple of new acoustic tracks from their next album - they've certainly sold it to me already!

Saturday dawned fine and clear, perfect for getting up early to watch the Crusaders kick the Bulls ass all over the paddock at Loftus Versfeld. Nice work boys.

Typically for Christchurch, by the time I got home the clouds had rolled in, we'd experienced a little sun-shower and the wind was beginning to blow, but since it was warm my german flatmate and I set off in the ute for Akaroa anyway. We made a couple of stops along the way, the obligatory photos from the Hilltop Hotel carpark, and cheese purchases from Barrys Bay (mmmm, Havarti). We had fish and chips for lunch, as you do, and spent some time wandering the streets, exploring the shops, and taking many many photos. Due to the winds, which were now close to gale force, all the harbour cruises had been cancelled, and on reaching the lighthouse we discovered it only opens to the public on Sundays, so we've made a pact to return on a sunny, windless Sunday to take a harbour cruise and climb to the top of the lighthouse!

Sunday was fine and very warm, and spent a lovely afternoon at the Jazz, Beer and BBQ festival at Riccarton house. See better photos than I could take here :)

Finding it hard to believe we are nearly in March already, but looking forward to all the events over the next month; Opshop and The Valves at the UCSA ballroom, weekend camping trip with Matt & J-Dogg, the RSPCA fundraiser at the Nut Point Gallery, the Jack Johnson concert, Hana's hen's night, and of course the wedding. Such fun!

The Crusaders began their Super 14 season last night in the pouring rain at AMI Stadium with a crushing 34-3 victory over the Brumbies. As much as I would have liked to be in the crowd, I was also glad to be warm and dry and drinking beer with my sister at our parent's house :-) In preparation for the start of the season, I finally got my Crusaders logo tattoo (thanks to Chalky of Graphic Addiction) - wearing my heart on my sleeve, so to speak.

The rain hasn't stopped all week, volleyball was rained off on Tuesday night, and it's become steadily worse since then. I had all good intentions of catching up on the gardening this weekend, but that's obviously not going to happen.

Tonight I'm off to catch some live rock at the Dux, looks to be an entertaining evening, provided I can stay dry on the way there and not arrive looking like a drowned rat ;-)

R, my awesome house-sitter and good friend, is now also my flatmate. Jack and I are stoked to have her here. It's going to be a full house soon, as next weekend we get another flatmate, an international student who's coming to join our little family for 6 months. I spent the day moving furniture around, clearing out the spare rooms ready for their new tenants, and moving R's stuff over here. I'm knackered but happy.

NZ has won the Wellington Sevens against Samoa, that's all 3 tournaments now. Go Kiwis!

Happy New Year everyone. New Year, fresh blog start.